It’s common for adult children to go on alert when a senior parent decides to date again after the other parent passes. It’s important to take a step back and understand your aging parent’s needs.
What To Do When They Date Someone New?
Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement of what’s best for your parent. It can be difficult to accept the fact that they need the space and time to move on.
How To Not Let Emotions Cloud Judgment
When a parent begins dating or plans to remarry after the other parent dies, it’s natural for the child to go on alert. Reactions can range from children feeling relief that now they don’t have to care for their parent to feel hurt that their lost parent is being replaced.
Another common worry is that the parent’s new love might take advantage of or hurt their parent emotionally or financially. Concerns can arise in adult children that the new relationship could affect their inheritance.
A fit of jealousy can overtake older children by not trusting the new person in their parent’s life. This can cause them to create all kinds of assumptions, like this person is after my parent’s money or they’ll come between me and my parents and i’ll never see them again.
Don’t Push Their New Partner Away
A partner losing their parent can create extreme loneliness and finding a new partner can make them feel good about themselves again. Pushing away their new love can create your parent to be discouraged, thinking the relationship didn’t work out, now they can’t find someone to share their life with again.
This can send a parent into a depression, affecting their physical and mental health. We all need love and social interaction and if a companion brings your parent that then be happy for them.
Is it Time to Give Love A Chance?
It’s not fair to make assumptions about your parent’s new loved one without getting to know them first. Who knows they could even possibly have more money than your parent does.
It’s important for aging parents to keep their children in the loop on whether they plan on dating or remarrying. This creates less of a shock, reassures the kids, and makes them feel like they are a part of it.
Adult children should have a period of self reflection to assess whether their fear is that their lost parent will lose significance by accepting the new lover and betray their lost parent.
Focusing on ways that marriage and long-term love will benefit the parent’s emotional health and well-being instead of being resentful can help the relationship. Understand the fact that being accepted, cared for, loved and valued is immeasurable. Hold onto these insights and use it to help support the parent’s newfound love.
Reno Valley Assisted Living and Retirement Community
Reno Valley is an assisted living and retirement community that makes living independently, while at the same time feeling safe and secure, a reality. We strive to provide the best quality of life for all residents including those suffering from loneliness and depression.
We offer a comprehensive activity program that includes both physical and social activities to encourage emotional well-being. Our staff is trained to assist those with depression. If you or a loved one are considering assisted living, contact Reno Valley today to learn more about our services or tour our community.
